I was recently asked by a close Friend if I could write a poem about Alzheimer’s,

I was humbled, and knew that it would be a challenge. I say this because it’s very challenging to imagine

what people who suffer from this disease actually go through, to  step inside their shoes and understand the tremendous toll it takes on their bodies and minds.

It must be just as hard on their family members too, knowing there is no cure at this time for it, and they have to watch their loved one suffer

through such a horrendous time in their lives.

So I took the challenge on. I wanted to pay homage to the ones that have suffered from this disease, or have had a loved one affected, by writing about the feelings and emotions that they might be dealing with or have dealt with during the different stages as the disease progresses on. It’s called “INSIGHT OF THE FIGHT”

 

I’m 65 now,

But I’m afraid I’m in for my toughest fight,

They say I’ve been diagnosed with something I can’t control,

I wish they weren’t telling the truth,

I wish they didn’t know what they were talking about,

But I’m sorry to say I think they were right,

There is no way to practice for this type of bad news,

This wasn’t learning how to crawl, or how to walk,

And one thing’s for damn sure this wasn’t like learning how to ride a scooter, trike, or bike,

I want so bad to deny it,

Somehow wake up from this bad dream,

I wanted SO bad to have back my “prior to, diagnosis life”,

But I can’t dwell on it,

I know I have to buckle down,

Lace up my fighting boots nice and tight,

Holding my dukes up for the battles and the plight of my future’s strife,

I did my research,

 In a way I know the warning signs,

And from what I gathered up, the only thing I won’t lose in this unforgiving war on my body and mind was my sight,

Memory is the first thing that I know I will lose,

So the first thing I do everyday is put a picture of my Family in my pocket,

Will I remember their names?

Forget their faces? Unknown people on Facetime or Skype?

I don’t know when then will happen, so I do this because for all I know tomorrow I just might,

So anytime I see a family member I say I love you way more than once,

With extra hugs giving kisses twice,

I also make sure I say my prayers every morning and night,

Thanking my Higher Power for giving me the strength to endure,

The strength to carry on bringing my Serenity to new heights,

I know I’ll lose my motivation,

Be in a state of confusion,

So I’ll keep Faith held with all my might,

I know for a fact its grip strength is tremendously tight,

Sleep troubles will come, trouble speaking will come after,

That’s when I’ll turn to my journal,

Let my true thoughts, feelings and emotions take the lead, pick up my pen and just write,

I won’t let the depression that obviously includes itself win,

It TRY’S to steal my will but I refuse to let this be a self-esteem heist,

I’m sure you saw what Ali fought through,

So, I’ll be floatin’ and stingin’ as best as I can,

 I’m grinding hard through this grueling fight,

I know I can’t fight forever, that’s a fact, I see it black and white,

I understand there is no cure, but with my Family by my side they are my backbone,

My Solomon’s might,

My air,

My everything,

My eternal shining light,

For They will be right beside me for this most challenging hike,

My constant crying, outbursts, not wanting their care is honestly a fright,

But I know they understand it’s just a sign that I’m losing rounds,

It’s the volatile ways of Alzheimer’s vicious strikes,

And I know it must be so hard for my loving wife,

“Please, Just bear with me Babe” is my only conjured up advice,

 So much irritability is eating at me, just trying to talk to me can be like rolling a set of dice,

I feel the disease’s effects more and more each day,

Apathy,

Lack of interest,

 My motor skills becoming lost,disappearing and quickly taking flight,

Muscle mass deteriation over night,

 Sooner than later I’ll even forget how to to use a simple spoon, fork, or knife,

Forgetting how to drink from a glass too,

So I’ve already prepared myself for it, and yeah of course it really bites,

But, that’s alright,

I’m O.K. with it,

It’s a heavy load, I know,

Sometimes it even feels like my head is stuck in a giant vice,

I’ll bear the crosses as they come,

Eventually bedridden, unable to feed myself?

Well that’s O.K. too, because the passion within this Soul will forever be shining bright,

I know that I have lived an adventuresome life, filled with many happy memories,

And those I will always keep in my heart,

They are tears of joy I will never wash away or wipe,

And when the curtain call finally comes,

I’ll be at peace with it,

In a way, I have to look bat it as something nice,

For I will then be able to be watch over my loving Family,

Passing on Positivity and Guidance from Heaven’s Paradise.

By: Dave Riley