Sick of all the pain, sick of all the pain,

Thunder blunder brain,

Blood’s boilin’ over with pure lightning in my veins,

A rage filled storm, devastating winds plus torrential terror rain,

Burnt bridges are everywhere I’m being scorched by all the flames,

Full of guilt, full of shame,

Losin’ all control, I can barely even function, addiction holds the reigns,

Why do I even hold on when everyday remains the same?

Wakin’ up with a disease that has me distinguished as an addict, a personality trait

that’s been progressively gained,

Strickened with self pity, my reputation has been excessively stained,

How do I even fight back, LOOK at this life I made,

“Back to the Future”, I feel like this is the point where my picture fades,

Feelin’ like a natural disaster, a twister that can’t be tamed,

Only stressin’ on regrets, my whole entire cerebellum’s strained,

I’m a hurricane enslaved, yet a raptor that’s been uncaged,

 

I failed myself, I failed my Family, so on my mind it’s war I wage,

Depression at it’s highest level, giving up’s a given, it’s the next one to take the stage,

Not sure how it even happened, but I’m the one at fault and the one to truly blame,

But what do I even do when I’m so embarrassed to tell people my name?

K.O.’d cranium, I couldn’t even lift myself back up if I had a genie and a crane,

 

So far demolished by this disease that’s unfortunately manmade,

Broken, chemically imbalanced, I’m done with this horrific life’s performance, so please do me a favor and drag me off with the cane,

I can’t even see my writin’ anymore anyway for my tears have drenched this page………..

 

That’s exactly what the past looked like for me and that’s the honest truth I gave,

I know, it’s beat was strong, it hits hard, it’s called an “emotional breakdown wave” that has the intensity

Of the bass at raves,

But up clOse and persOnal is where my poetry resides, it’s where my passion lays,

Laying down raw emotion, never allowing that focus to stray,

 

To help another in those type of shoes is my journey, and my grateful recovery type of way,

Sharing my experience, strength, and hope to maybe help someone else that’s in disarray,

The one’s that are struggling, living against the grain,

Show them that they too can make a change, they too can break the binding chains,

Helping them realize their true value and potential, it can be some “self-esteem boosting valet”,

To bring back some supporting drive is what my poetry hopes to compassionately convey,

Travel on a new road, a new path, a constructed piece of mind that’s hopefully paved,

Make way for a new way of livin’, the one for brighter future days.

By: Dave Riley