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I’ve thought back a couple times,

 Of when I almost lost the will to live,

Giving it my all it seemed,

But almost had nothing else left to give,

I was only the shell of a man,

Beaten down so many times,

So Battered and shattered….

So I hid,

 

Well,

Hiding from the real world is really what I did,

Coating my depression’s compressed feelings with chemicals,

That were drunk and inhaled within,

They hid me from all the relentless agony and pain,

Also with my patience,

Which was constantly wearing thin,

 

That hiding mind state was satisfying,

It had a feeling of daily victories,

Yet,

 In all reality, I was

 Leaving myself lost,

Lost without even a single win,

I dug myself deeper and deeper,

Dying on the inside,

 But pretending I was happy,

Forcing out and wearing an artificial grin,

 

I HAD to find a WAY,

The way to truly and honestly LIVE,

Family and friends around me always somehow forgave,

It was always myself I couldn’t seem to forgive,

For all that mental abuse inflicted without restriction,

I found it nearly impossible to move on from the past,

And to finally close that lid,

 

But with THEIR HELP I finally did,

And then realized that I

 Had SO MUCH MORE TO GIVE,

To LEARN to LEAD a wonderful NEW Life,

To come back to the REAL Me, the

The healthy sober lifeSTYLE’s grid,

To be that true family Man,

A LOVING Husband and Father,

A TRUE inspiring role model for my two Beautiful and inspiring kids.

By: Dave Riley